Me, Myself And... Huh?
by Vick330
Summary: *Entry for The Clash Of The Couples Contest* - A Zelphie, Zeltis, Seiftis, Seifu, Selfu, double Squinoa, and Irv? all individually & simultaneously-You'll either love the ending or be disturbed for the rest of your days ^_^
1. Close Encounters Of The Weird Kind

**~*~*~ Me, Myself and… Huh? ~*~*~**

A Final Fantasy VIII fan fiction story by Vick330

Entry for **The** **Clash of the Couples** **Contest** hosted by **Jello Starz and Pink Ink** – Individually known as _PinkStarz_ and _Jello_ _Ink_.

~*~ **_Disclaimer_** ~*~

Maybe in an Alternate Universe I do own FF8, maybe even _Squaresoft_! Maybe I even have a shot at dating Quistis there!!! But in this Universe I don't [diddums!]  :(

~*~ **_Foreword_** ~*~

So, the contest is for a humorous/romantic story starring the oddest couple. There is also a mention about diversity, and my favorite quote is '_Beauty In Diversity_' (guess from where that comes from ^_~).

The rules are:

1. No lemons, please! R is ok, NC-17 is a no go. Sorry guys, family entertainment only.        [_A/N: Throws first draft into recycling bin_]

2. There must be a plot! Basically, explain the characters' actions. 'Because' doesn't count! ^_~ PWP will not even be looked at!                [_A/N: All right, this is going to be harder than I thought_]

3. A limit of four chapters. If you write really short chapters normally, put several in one upload.       [_A/N: That's fair enough ^_^_]

4. The following couples don't count; we want something over and above the norm.

i) Seifer x Quistis, Rinoa, or Selphie

ii) Squall x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie

iii) Seifer x Squall, Zell or Irvine

iv) Zell x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie

v) Irvine x Quistis, Rinoa or Selphie  [_A/N: What about all at the same time? *notices the glares* Just kidding, hee hee, just kidding – really…_]

5. No incest please, Squall and Laguna are NOT an option.                         [_A/N: Phew! What a relief!_]

Criteria for judging:

1. Creativity in plot structure

2. Grammar/ Spelling (mechanics). This is not as major as the other sections, but still counts to a degree. 

3. Proper and selective inclusion of humorous and romantic elements as a basis for the plotline.

4. Weirdness factor of the couple in question! Rated 1-10! 

The deadline is May 1rst, 2002, and the winners will be announced a week from the deadline. HoBoy HoBoy HoBoy HoBoy!!! Better get started then, and so without any more waiting, in an effort to get to the story ASAP, without extending the introduction for too long - to hide the fact that I have no clue on how to go about this story, fully realizing that the best intros are the shor… *notices more glares* All right, here it is:

~*~ **_Warning_** ~*~

In order to bend the rules somewhat, this story contains _Hetero pairings_ and also _Shounen-Ai_ and _Shoujo-Ai_ (boy-girl, boy-boy, and girl-girl romance). I aimed at keeping everything light and tasteful, but if you are in any way disturbed by this, please use your discretion and don't read any further. Thank you.

**~*~*~*~ I – Close Encounters Of The Weird Kind ~*~*~*~**

Two years had passed since the 'Great Battle'. SeeD was now a peacekeeping force, still composed of elite fighters and operatives. These were quiet times, and Balamb Garden was gliding majestically through the waves in the dawn of a new day. In less than hour, the shores of Balamb – the island continent, and home to the inhabitants of the great ship – would be in visible range.

The reports of unusual bursts of energy, which the mobile Gardens were investigating, had proved unfounded and so the order had been given to head back home. On the piloting deck, a certain Cow-Person and the Commander's executive assistant were on duty. But, since the trip had been uneventful, they had activated the automatic pilot. You see, they were kind of busy… in fact they were in the middle of a serious tongue-wrestling match (no losers, only winners – what a great sport! ^_^)

That is why when the air started shimmering in the path of the vessel, nobody thought of changing course. As Garden passed through a curtain of light, the whole structure resonated with a peculiar frequency. This immediately awoke most of the ship's population (except a tattooed individual who would only have awakened if hotdogs were involved).

"Hee Haw!" Exclaimed the violet-eyed sharpshooter, "Yah rock mah world really good, Baby! Where yah lean ta kiss like that?"

The other person suddenly realized two things, first the view outside Garden looked like a surrealistic painting. And in second place, the intercom was beeping madly. '_Damn! That's the Commander's line_!' he thought and then responded, "Huh, Commander?"

"What the hell is going on, Xi?" replied an angry voice.

"I, huh, we seem to have strayed from our destination…"

"Whatever, I'm coming up." – and the communication was cut.

"Great!" Complained Xi to the sharpshooter "We'll be lucky if we don't get kicked out of Garden for this!"

Mollified, the violet-eyed person offered, "Hum, maybe it's aw storm of som' surt… He! We seem to be coming out of it!"

Effectively, the shores of their destination could be seen and the weird lights had disappeared. They both let out a sigh of relief, and shortly after the Commander and the Head Instructor entered the piloting deck. Garden went to flying mode automatically, and homed in on its landing pad. And then it jerked to a sudden stop as all systems went to full alert.

"What the…" exclaimed the blond instructor.

Steel-blue eyes also stared in shock at the view in front of them. On the landing pad, there was an exact replica of Balamb Garden, but with the main colors reversed. The Commander's voice was dispassionate and controlled, "Arm weapons, and prepare for combat."

Suddenly the intercom came to life, "Commander, this is communications. We are receiving a message from the other… Garden."

"Lets hear it."

The blond instructor stated, "If they are not overtly hostile, we should ask for a meeting." And then glancing meaningfully at his leader he continued, "Please, try to use diplomacy?"

"Understood." Was the Commander's answer.

A commanding voice was heard though the speakers of the piloting deck, "This is Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden, identify yourselves."

The three SeeDs and the sharpshooter exchanged surprised glances, and then the Commander responded, "And this is Commander Qualla Leonhart of Balamb Garden. I propose a meeting on neutral ground."

"Agreed." Came the reply after a very long pause.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Squall chose his group without hesitation; he first selected his former instructor for her sharp intelligence. "Quistis," he started, "I trust your knowledge of diplomacy, so you'll come with me.

"What about me Squall?" Asked Selphie hopefully.

"You can't come." Replied the dark-haired man.

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Because what?"

"Whatever."

"Meanie." Said the brunette under her breath.

Fujin was selected for her ability to remain calm in stressful situations, and unfaltering instinct for sensing trouble. "Miss Kazeno," continued Squall, "You'll keep a distance from our guests, and stay alert until we've assessed their intentions."

"UNDERSTOOD," replied the fair woman.

"Squaaaaaaaall?" intervened Selphie.

"Yes, Selphie."

"Well, you know that I'm a people's person," she insisted, "So I really think that I should go with you."

"I said, no."

"Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh?" she insisted with a cute and endearing pout.

"No."

"If you don't bring me I'll be sad…"

"Whatever."

"If I'm not part of the group it will hurt my feelings…"

"Whatever."

"If I can't go I'll be upset..."

"Whatever."

"If I can't tag along I'll feel left out…"

"Whatever."

"If I stay behind I'm gonna cry..."

"Whatever," said an annoyed Commander, then turned to his chosen companions, "We're leaving in 15 minutes, get ready."

Selphie grabbed Squall's arm and pleaded, "Please pretty please I really want to meet these people they said that there is another Tilmitt on their Garden and maybe he's my long lost brother or something and I really want to meet my family and I won't bother you in fact you won't even know I'm there and I promise to be really good and quiet and can I go pweesh?"

"No." answered the broody guy and turned to walk out of the conference room.

The brunette made a last attempt to change her Commander's mind, and grabbed his right leg while begging non-stop,"pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasebenicepleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!"

"Mother of Hyne, Selphie!" complained Squall as he attempted to walk away, "I said NO, and let go of me!"

Finally, Selphie pestered so much to be brought along that the Commander reluctantly gave in. Having someone clung to your leg, like an oversized yellow-clad leech, could be very convincing. There was also the fact that he feared for the safety of his favorite pair of leather pants, which were –after his gunblade- his most prized possession. At any rate, the brunette had a talent for dissipating tense situations, which might come in handy.

The other Garden had moved to a respectful distance. Squall and his escort walked to the agreed meeting point, and soon enough he could see their delegates walking towards him. Precautions had been taken, for deception couldn't be ruled out, but the four of them were highly trained and confident that they could handle any displeasing surprises. As they met with their guests, there were indeed astounded. The four visitors had an oddly familiar look about them.

"I am Squall Leonhart, welcome to Balamb." Stated the dark-haired man extending his hand, which was taken in a firm handshake by a young woman with steel-blue eyes and a scar on her forehead– obviously the person they had talked to earlier.

"And I am Qualla Leonhart," simply said the young woman, and then proceeded to introduce her comrades.

She first pointed to a blond man with sapphire-eyes, "This is Head Instructor Quisto Trepe."

"Xi Lee, Executive Administrative Officer." – A man with handsome Asian features bowed respectfully.

"And finally, Sofie Almasy, our Chief of security." – The tall blonde woman smirked at the glares she got; as Qualla she was also sporting a scar on her forehead.

After Squall introduced his own friends, they were struck by the similarities in their names. Quistis sharp wits and scientific curiosity took over, and she asked, "Well, it is obvious that you are not from this world. Do you have any idea how you got here?"

"That light…" said Xi.

"LIGHT?" Inquired Fujin. She was also keeping Sofie Almasy in her peripheral vision, as she was adept at doing, for the woman fascinated her.

"We passed through some sort of portal, I think." He explained, "Those sightings of unusual energy burst were true after all…"

"We've had similar reports," Indicated Quistis, "We think they are echoes from those portals Ultimecia created in the future."

"Ultimecia?" said Qualla.

"I think that we have much to discuss," intervened Quisto in a deep and assured voice, "It is in both our interests that we find a way back home, what consequences our presence here could have are unknown after all."

"Agreed." Came the simultaneous response of the two leaders, and Squall invited Qualla and her group to his Garden.

As they walked, Sofie managed to walk besides Fujin who was at the rear of the group. "I know that you were checking me out, you know." Said the blonde woman just loud enough so that only the albino would hear.

Fujin gave her an odd look, and the taller woman continued, "Fujo also has excellent peripheral vision."

"FUJO?"

"I think I have all this figured out," said Sofie, "I can't wait to meet a male _Ginger Hen_," she then laughed merrily at some private joke of hers.

They made a remarked entrance, and Squall immediately called a meeting of all high-ranking personnel. Fujin went back to her dorm, trying to figure out what a 'Ginger Hen' could be and unable to get Sofie Almasy out of her mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_To Be Continued on Monday, April 29, 2002 while our friends interact during the weekend _;)__


	2. Fraternizing

**~*~*~*~ II – Fraternizing ~*~*~*~**

One week later

A warm camaraderie began to color the exchanges between the two Gardens, as quite predictably all wanted to meet their counterparts. It had become evident that both Universes were identical except for one thing, the gender of their inhabitants. Of course, not all of Garden's members had their reverse-gender double. It was either because that person either didn't exist or had not decided to become a SeeD in one of the two plans of reality – that was anyone's guess.

The only regrettable incident –or rather incidents- happened when Zell and Zelda Dincht met. The young woman also had a tattoo on the side of her face, but it looked like artful arabesques instead of flames. The two energetic martial artists immediately challenged each other to a hot-dog eating contest, taking advantage of the fact that a fresh supply of said delicacy had arrived to the cafeteria that day. They ingurgitated their meal under the enthusiastic cheers of their respective teammates, and then had to be rushed to the infirmary for a serious case of indigestion.

"I win!" exclaimed Zelda.

"No way!" disagreed Zell, "You cheated!"

"Hey, I had a large soda with my hot-dogs, so I ate more than you."

"It doesn't count, it is a well known fact that soda helps dissolve hot-dogs in the stomach." Stated the blond guy stubbornly.

"Want to start again?" She challenged him.

"Choose your time and your place." Started saying Zell, and then remembered Squall and Qualla's visit, "But we have to think of something else, our two party-hater commanders banned all eating contests for all SeeDs. Bummer!"

Zelda grinned mischievously, "Yes, they banned 'eating contests' but they said nothing about…"

The next day they had a soda-drinking match in Zelda's Garden's cafeteria, were both sick as hell, and rushed to the infirmary there. Squall and Qualla then banned all contests involving eating, drinking, swallowing through your nose, or otherwise ingesting anything –edible or not- and warned of severe consequences in case of non-compliance. This didn't faze our two resourceful friends, as they went back to Zell's Garden and had a back-flipping competition in the main hall. It ended with a broken directory board, both of them in the infirmary with minor concussions, and an all-ban on any contest of any type unless specifically authorized by the proper authorities. Needless to say, Zell and Zelda were not happy about it but decided to remain quiet for the time being.

And that was the only real headache that the Commanders had to deal with. In general, the event had a really positive effect on everybody, as all understood the importance of appropriate behavior and maintaining proper protocol. And so people learned new things about themselves, strong friendships blossomed, and old ones gained in strength, in a beautiful display of fraternization, closeness, tenderness and…

"I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"But Selphie…"

"Don't 'but Selphie' me! You… you… you…"

"Take it easy, Baby," pleaded Irvine, "Yer hyperventilating…"

"I'LL TAKE IT AS I FEEL! YOU CHEATING LOW-LIFE POOPOO-PANTS LYING DICKHEAD!!!!"

"He! That's unfair!" complained the cowboy.

"YOU ALWAYS THINK WITH YOUR WEINER INSTEAD OF YOUR BRAIN –THAT IS IF YOU HAVE ONE- AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!"

"Selphie, you're overreacting," said Irvine in an attempt to calm his angry girlfriend – it didn't work.

"Overreacting?" stated Selphie, then exploded waving her arms madly, "ME overreacting? I am NOT overreacting! I NEVER OVERREACT!!!!"

"Please, let me explain," implored our friend.

"Explain that you were giving a tonsil cleaning with your tongue to, of all people, Rica Barjan?!" ~_~ [~ is Selphie's hairdo]

"I… I was just fraternizing," explained the sharpshooter, "Just like Squall instructed us to do."

"Fraternizing???" replied the angry brunette, "You call that FRATERNIZING???!!! Do you even now what the f*ck 'fraternizing' means??? It means treating people like siblings, you gross ignoramus! And siblings do NOT make out in the disgusting and revolting way you two were engaging in!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I… I am so, so sorry," he apologized, but thought, '_Well, not THAT sorry. Rica knows a thing or two_.'        ^_^\     [\ is Irvine's ponytail]

"Sorry?!" yelled Selphie, "**SORRY???!!!** I'LL MAKE YOU SORRY TO HAVE EVER BEEN BORN YOU [**censored**]!!!!!" – all of the mirrors and glasses in the vicinity cracked.

It took a moment for the cowboy's ears to stop ringing after that shout, and then he had the really bad, poorly though, ill-fated idea of offering, "Selphie, honey, you know that I always come back to you…"

"AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER YOU DOOFUS?!!!"

"Huh, Baby," inquired a scared Irvine, "Why are you taking your boot off?"       O_o\

"TAKE THIS!" exploded the infuriated brunette, "AND YOU CAN GO **F*CK YOURSELF** FOR ALL I CARE!!!" ~O~

Irvine made it out of the room just in time before the enraged woman threw one of her boots at him. The damn thing would have most certainly bashed his skull in – well, it would have crushed 'something' but not his skull really, as Selphie had been aiming a lot lower. Fortunately for him, his long legs allowed him to escape in record time [_too bad they don't have Olympic games over there, he would have set a record for the 100m sprint_].

Once the cowboy had made his escape, Selphie sat on the side of her bed and cried her heart out. Not 30 minutes ago she had gone to Irvine's room, opened the door and found him with Rica Barjan –Raijin Barjan's counterpart- and what they had been doing couldn't be termed, by any stretch of the imagination,  'fraternizing'.

Stephen Tilmitt found Selphie's door opened, he heard the sobs and came in. They hadn't had much time to talk, and so he had come to see her. He sat beside his counterpart and put his arms around her in a soothing embrace, "What is it, little sister? Want to talk about it?" He offered in a hushed tone of voice.

The crying girl returned the embrace, and replied between sobs, "Irvine…"

"Why do you put up with him?" asked Stephen softly, "From what I've heard he constantly hurts you, and you deserve better."

"I *sniff* he's the first boyfriend I've ever had, and I don't know…"

"It is just infatuation, little Sis," continued the emerald-eyed man, "You'll get over it."

"You're so nice, Stephen *sniff*, but don't you have the same problem with Irma?" asked the brunette.

"Hum, Irma and I have never dated…" answered the spirited guy. Irma Kinneas was Irvine's counterpart, and she was responsible for 'distracting' Xi Lee, Xu Lee's corresponding person, from his piloting duty, thus causing the present situation.

Selphie looked up, suddenly interested. She had assumed that everything, including relationships, was mirrored in the Universe from where their counterparts came. This made for some interesting developments, and it made her forgot what she was crying for (Selphie IS Selphie after all). "Oh? And who are you dating then?"

"Nobody at the moment," replied Stephen, "I just haven't found the right person yet."

"I hope I'll find the right man one day," said Selphie.

"Me too…" added her companion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that day in the cafeteria…

"Zell, hombre, tenemos que hablar seriamente." Said Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo, the library girl, to our tattooed friend. [Zell, man, we have to have a serious talk]

[_A/N: It took a long time to come up with the pigtail/library girl's name in my last fanfic, and so from now on that will be her name in each and every one of my future stories – I'm just way too lazy to come up with another one, so thank you for your understanding_]

"What about, Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo?" Inquired the blond guy innocently.

The library girl stated, "Bueno, we have been dating for two años now, and I want our relationship to go to the next level, si sabes lo que quiero decir." [_Bueno_ = well; _años_ = years; _si sabes lo que quiero decir_ = if yah know what I mean] – this last sentence was accompanied by a wink.

Zell fidgeted in a really uncomfortable manner, he thought he could go along with this but realized that things were a little more complicated than that. "Listen, Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo, I really like you and I think we should take things slow. After all we don't want to rush into anything…"

"Zell, escucha!" exclaimed the annoyed Latina, "We haven't even kissed yet!" she stated, "¡Una mujer tiene deseos también!" [_Escucha_= listen; A woman has desires too]

"Huh, I just respect you a lot…" explained the martial artist. [_He just respects her a lot_… A/N: huh, sorry, guess I don't have to translate that, I just got carried away ^_^]

Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo had quite enough, "Maybe you should respect me a little less!" she exploded, "¿Quiero saber, me amas o no me amas?" [Do you love me or not?]

Zell really liked Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo, but for some reason he couldn't get intimate with her and he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Listen, I just think that some things are worth waiting for."

"¡Ya estoy harta de esperarte!" she yelled, "You either kiss me right now, and I don't mean those brotherly pecks you always give me, O ME PIERDES!" [I am sick & tired of waiting for you. – _O me pierdes_ = or you'll lose me]

"Hum… all right," answered our friend, and then leaned over to kiss the Latin woman full on the lips. But –because there is a 'but', as if you weren't expecting it- he pulled back. "I… I am not ready for this."

Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo did NOT take it well at all, "¡Pero que te pasa, acaso te gustan los hombres?!" [What's wrong with you, do you like men or something?"]

This did catch Zell off guard, as he had been considering many things lately, but he didn't have the time to think of a proper reply. The library girl stood up and addressed him one last time, in a shaky voice, before walking away.

"Mira, I really like you but this is going nowhere. Adiós, espero que encuentres a alguien especial." And with that she left, with deep sorrow in her Latin heart. [_Mira_ = see here; Good bye, I hope the you'll meet someone special]

Zell stared at the table for a long moment, and was brought out of his reverie by a familiar voice, "You all right?"

"Oh, Selphie," he replied, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I just met Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo," – the brunette took a moment to catch her breath before resuming, "She looked really upset, and I was wondering if it is again because her name won't fit on her ID tag."

"Huh, no…" said Zell, "We kind of broke up."

Selphie gently prodded him, "Zelly, we've been friends for a long time, and you know that I like you."

"I like you too, Sephy."

"That is why I have something to tell you," she said hesitantly, "Well, are you sure you shouldn't reconsider your huh… preferences?"

"Preferences?" asked the blond guy.

"Yes," replied the spunky girl, "Like, isn't your favorite magazine 'Boy Next Door'?"

"Yeah, it's a culturist's mag," answered Zell, "You know that I take working-out really seriously. Why do you ask?"

"Zelly, have you ever noticed all the homoerotic pictures in those magazines?"

"It's normal that they show well-built guys, it gives an incentive to work harder to get results."

Selphie sighed, "It is the only culturist's publication where the guys are shown, yah know, being really friendly towards each other."

"That's simple sociable behavior in the gym."

A sudden idea hit Ms.Tilmitt's pretty head, "Say, my counterpart wants to visit Balamb, but I'm busy with stuff. Would you show him around?"

Always the helpful one, our energetic friend agreed to take Stephen on a tour, "Sure, anything for you, Sephy."

"You're a darling!" she exclaimed and kissed him on his tattoo before skipping away, for she had a few things to take care of. Zell then went to get ready to met Stephen, thinking of how nice Selphie was and how well they got along.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, you're supposed to be a male me, huh?" said the blonde woman.

"Or rather, YOU are supposed to be ME." Answered Seifer.

Sofie just smirked in a way that made the tall man want to strangle her. '_Man, am I that annoying when I do that? That would explain a lot_.' He thought, and then asked, "How come you're chief of security at your garden?"

"Qualla and Headmistress Cydalia gave me a second chance, and I worked hard at earning their trust." Replied the ex-knightess.

Quistis, Rinoa and her counterpart Reno were also present. The five of them were in the blonde instructor's dorm now, getting better acquainted. The raven-haired woman inquired, "Sofie, I thought that our Universes were similar in all things, but Seifer here is dating Quistis and you are not dating his counterpart, Quisto."

"He's not my type." Said the tall blonde woman matter-of-factly.

Seifer added his two cents "I heard that he's dating Chicken-Wuss's counterpart, Zelda, now that would be something to see! Zell and Quistis!" – *OOOOF!*

Quistis had just jabbed her lover in the ribs, "Sweetie, what did I say about calling people names?"

"Sorry, Instructor." Apologized the tall guy.

"I'll deal with you later," warned the blonde instructor, "Tell me Sophie, how did you get back to your Garden? My boyfriend might learn something out of it." – Seifer glared at his girlfriend, but wisely kept his peace.

The tall woman's eyes clouded, it was obvious that the memories were painful to her. It was Reno Heartilly who answered the question in her place, "When Adel demanded that I be sacrificed Sofie broke Ultros's control. She helped us afterwards, and made SeeD about six months after the Sorcerer's Battle."

Rinoa turned to her ex-boyfriend, "Well Seifer, you were more than ready to sacrifice me if I remember correctly."

"Huh, I wouldn't have in the end you know, hee hee…"

"By the way," asked Quistis, "Was Adel a man in your world? She... he... it… whatever had the same name here, not like your sorcerer named 'Ultros' whereas we fought a sorceress named 'Ultimecia', and we always wondered what gender Adel was."

"Well," answered Sofie, "We are not sure about it either, that was one ugly woman or man for sure."

"Or a botched Marilyn Manson cosplay! Haw Haw!" said Seifer, and then grinned at an annoyed Quistis.

Reno suddenly stood up and announced, "Sorry guys, we have to go meet Qualla and Squall."

Quistis rose too, "I have a class in five minutes, so Seifer I'll trust you to stay here and behave."  
"Sure thing, Baby." Replied our blond friend angelically. After he was alone with his counterpart, he asked, "Say, what is a 'Ginger Hen'? I heard you call Zelda that."

"Oh, it's an old animated movie about chickens trying to escape, so they wouldn't be turned into pies. There's a chicken there named Ginger, and she reminded me of Zelda."

"Must drive her nuts!" laughed Seifer.

"It does." Said Sofie with another of her smirks.

The blond man looked away, for he found those smirks really aggravating. It was then that noticed something on his girlfriend's dresser. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"Seifer, that's Quistis's journal," remarked Sofie, "You better leave that alone."

"Yeah, you're right…" he said, and then opened the little book, flipped to the lasts few entries and started reading aloud. His sea-green eyes widened noticeably, as did Sofie's.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fujo Kazeno was waiting for Stephen Tilmitt in the Quad of his Garden, as he had joined the Festival Committee and was eager to help. The spirited emerald-eyed guy had befriended him, which hadn't been easy but had filled the lonely guy's heart with gratitude. He didn't have many friends, apart from Sofie and Rica, and that Stephen was so nice to him in such a disinterested manner really touched his bruised soul.

"Hiya!" exclaimed a female voice behind him, "You must be Fujo, pleased to meet you and Stephen said not to wait for him so you can do whatever else you have to do."

The muscular albino turned, and saw a pretty woman in a yellow dress. He knew that this was Selphie, for Stephen had told him about her, but he didn't expect her to be so attractive. "HELLO" he said as a greeting.

"Boy! You are so much like Fujin!"

"I KNOW" – he did as he had met his own counterpart a few times.

"Stephen his busy, well actually he has date. Tee Hee!" explained the brunette, "And so he asked me to come and tell you."

"DATE?" inquired Fujo.

"Well, yes a date like in two people getting together and yah know get to know each other better in the hopes to establish a long term relationship or just have some fun but to me a date is to find your soul mate don't you agree?"

Fujo actually smiled [_A/N: a rare happening so enjoy it while it lasts_], for she was so much like his own spirited friend. He suddenly wanted to spend more time with her, and at first hesitated about asking her to go eat with him, but as Rica always said: 'Yah have to take chances if yah want something, yah know?' and so he offered, "HUNGRY?"

"YUP! You want to go and get some grub?"

"SURE" he replied, and then Selphie hooked her arm in his and dragged him towards the cafeteria.

"Say," asked the diminutive woman, "At our Garden we're always out of hot-dogs, so it's sure they'll be out of them here too. What's for lunch today anyway?"

"PIZZA"

"Pidsa?"

"PIZZA"

"What's that?"

"YUMMY"

"All right, I'll trust you –Tee Hee!"

Selphie loved the pizza and they had a good time. Her companion offered that they have dinner together that night, as lasagna was on the menu and the brunette didn't know what it was [they miss on a lot of great things in the FF8 world]. She agreed gratefully, as she was trying to keep herself busy and –following Stephen's advice- forget about Irvine. Little did she know that Fujo Kazeno had developed a huge crush on… guess who?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_To Be Continued_


	3. Someone Special

**~*~*~*~ III – Someone Special ~*~*~*~**

A/N: This chapter contains _Shounen_ & _Shoujo_ _Ai_, so please take that into consideration. I know that things seem to be going a teensy bit too fast, but remember that they knew the other guy's counterpart - with whom they've already developed strong friendships. Thank you to those who were kind enough to review, it is appreciated much more than you think ~_^

I will not be able to finish the story for the May 1rst deadline (today). This chapter turned out longer than I initially intended, and I have one more to post – the story just kind of took a life of its own. Sorry for the inconvenience, and I hope you'll enjoy the following.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Seifer opened Quistis's journal and flipped through the first few pages, as they looked more like notes from meetings and a few comments and reminders.  He was about to give up, thinking that only his girlfriend could be so clinical about her personal life, when he finally got to an interesting part which had happened about six months ago.

"He he he, this sounds good," he said to his counterpart and proceeded to read aloud.

~ _Dear Journal, something very special happened yesterday night, as for the first time in my life I felt like a real woman. I shall cherish that memory for as long as I live, and dare to hope to know such joy and fulfillment again. I can't help but wonder why I deprived myself of such a simple, yet wonderful pleasure. I know now what I have been missing for so long, and my whole being sings at the mere thought of those moments of bliss_. ~

Seifer grinned widely at Sofie, obviously pleased with himself as he deduced what that passage was about. The blonde woman still thought that it was wrong to pry into someone's intimate things, but Seifer was Quistis's girlfriend… er boyfriend after all and they shouldn't have secrets for each other. After clearing his throat, the tall man resumed his lecture.

~ _I still feel it on my skin, his touch – sometimes gentle, sometimes demanding, always burning. I reached heaven countless times, and Oh my Hyne! What a feeling! I have never witnessed such 'savoir-faire', such expertise! It was amazing! It was incredible! It was out of this world! ~_

Seifer's grin widened and he avidly read the rest.

_~ It's was… it was indescribable, it was perfection incarnated, it was so MUCH better than what I have ever known with that inexperienced little boy, namely my so-called boyfriend Seifer Alma_… ~

***WHAT**!!!!!!!!!!!!* Exclaimed the blond guy.

"Huh, maybe you should stop there." Offered Sofie with an amused smirk that enraged the man even further. He continued reading out loud, too angry to care that his counterpart would hear.

~ _Now, lets talk about Seifer. I realize that I felt responsible for his mistakes, and only dated him out of a sentiment of pity. But then again, who wouldn't pity such a pathetic loser? Damn my maternal instincts! I really should kick him out of my life for good, he's a real 'big talker' if yah know what I mean: lots of noise, but very little under the hood_ ~

The ex-Knight was shaking from fury by now, and his face had turned an alarming beet-red. The fact that Sofie was laughing her head off did nothing to appease his ire. In a trembling voice he continued:

~ _I won't do that to Seifer though, he's so emotionally weak and instable that he's sure to lose it completely. I would feel bad about hurting him anyway, and as long as he doesn't suspect about me and Laguna Loire I think I can cope_…~

Seifer shouted, "LAGUNA LOIRE?!!! That's disgusting! The guy is old enough to be her father! Oh man, he's sooooooo dead!"

Sofie remarked, "Actually, I saw pictures of Mr.Loire and he is quite handso…"

*WHAT!!!!*

"Nothing." Replied the blonde woman muffling a chuckle, and gesturing to the man to go on.

Seifer realized that there was a big hole in the entries, as the next date was just the day before.

~ _I don't know how much longer I can see my newest lover this way. In fact, now I have to hide from Seifer and Laguna, as I can't escape my needs and passion. They both think that I was at Galbadia Garden yesterday, but I lied and it pains me, for in fact I met Ward in Deling City_…~

"WARD?????!!!!!!!!!!" shouted a now completely disturbed Seifer. A vein was pulsating madly on his forehead as he read more.

~ _I don't know where this is going to lead, or even if it might destroy me. All I know is that the man might not be able to talk, but does he know how to treat a woman! Woo Hoo! Lets just say that I didn't get much sleep last night, and that I had to put a stop to it after the ninth time_ ~ [end of page]

"NINE TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Exploded our short-tempered friend, and then turned the page and read:

~ _Yes, Seifer, nine times_

_You really bought that part about Laguna and Ward? I wanted to add Kiros too, but that would have been overdoing it. I hope that you had your lesson, mister!_

_And now listen well because I won't repeat this: If I EVER catch you reading my journal again your voice is going to go a few octaves higher! Kapish?_

_Don't forget that we're having dinner with Squall, Rinoa and their counterparts tonight so don't wear that old trench coat._

_Love,_

_Quistis_.

_PS. Now be a good boy, put the book down and go get ready._ ~

The blond man realized that he fallen for a very obvious prank, and at the expression on his face Sofie Almasy rolled on the floor holding her sides. Seifer had long left the room, when she finally managed to control her laugher enough to stand up. It should be noted that the incident was never brought up afterwards, no even in front of Quistis.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Raijin decided to go to the library, and check if the last installment of _The Amazing Spider-Pupurun_ (the big hit of the year) had arrived. The place was deserted, and he couldn't find the pig-tailed library girl to help him out, so he looked by himself.

*Sob*

"Huh?" said our big friend in surprise.

*Sob*

"Someone here, yah know?" he inquired.

*Sob*

He was now sure he had heard something, and homed in on the sound. Hiding in a secluded part of the library, was Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo crying disconsolately.

Raijin had a big heart, and he just couldn't stand seeing people crying. Furthermore, he liked Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo, for she had always been really nice to him.

"Huh, Cristina Monica Reina Ema Angelica Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Manuela Renata Francesca Milagros Antonia Veronica Marisol Consuelo, are yah all right, yah know?" he said, kneeling near the weeping girl.

"It's *sniff* Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita *sniff* Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo, not *sniff* Cristina Monica Reina Ema Angelica Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita *sniff* Manuela Renata Francesca Milagros Antonia Veronica Marisol Consuelo."       [_A/N: Ouch, my head! @_@]_

"Ho, sorry, yah know." He apologized.

"Don't *sniff* worry, everybody makes that *sniff* mistake."

"Why are yah crying, yah know, is it because yah don't have a counterpart in the other Garden, yah know?"

"No, no es eso."           [_No, it's not that_.]

"Is it because your name doesn't fit on your ID tag, yah know?"

"Eso tampoco."            [_That either_.]

"Then what is it, yah know?"

"I  *sniff* don't want to bother *sniff* you con mi problema."   [_Con mi problema_ = With my problem]

The big guy was at loss about to do, but then inspiration hit him, "Say, yah know, they have a Latino night at the _Balamb Deli & Grill_, yah know, so yah wanna go?"

This caught that young woman's interest, as she had been dying to go, "Si, me gustaría, pero it's impossible to get tickets."         [_Si, me gustaría, pero_ = Yes, I would love to, but]

"My uncle is the owner, yah know," explained Raijin proudly, "And he'll give us great seats, if we help out a little, yah know." - He was rewarded by one of the most radiant smiles he had ever seen, and helped her to her feet.

The library girl [_A/N: if I write her name one more time, I'll go totally bonkers!_] wiped the tears from her eyes, and accepted the invitation, "¡Si! Voy a ir contigo, muchas gracias Raijin."                        [_Yes! I will go with you, thank you very much Raijin_.]

In the end, they had a wonderful time and it was the beginning of a beautiful – and lively -relationship.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Bye sweetie," said Ms.Dincht to her son, "And Stephen, you are welcome here any time you want."

"Thank you Ma Dincht," called Stephen as he walked away with Zell, "Man, you're Mom sure is nice, she reminds me of Zelda's Daddy."

"Yeah, she is the best," agreed the blond guy, "And what she said goes for me too, _mi casa es su casa_."           [_My house is your house_]

Both guys had been spending the day together, and become fast friends. Of course, they had met a few times during the past week, but never had time to truly get to know each other. The brown-haired guy was really grateful about how nice Zell had been with him, and hoped that they would hang out more. As they made their way back to their respective Gardens – Stephen's one was currently hiding near the Fire Cavern – the martial artist had similar thoughts, for he had never felt so at ease with anybody except Selphie before.

"Zell?" said Stephen, putting a hand on his companion's shoulder, "Can I ask you something, and if I'm prying just tell me so."

"Sure, wassup?" replied our friend.

"Well, huh, you have a… huh… someone special in your life right now?"

"Nah," answered the blond guy, "My girlfriend dumped me this morning, she wanted to go too fast for me."

"Girl…? Oh, sorry." Offered the spirited man.

"It's all right, I guess I need the time by myself."

"Listen, I know that we just met, but I feel like I've known you for a long time." Said Stephen, "And if you need to talk or anything, I want you to know that you can trust me."

Zell grinned, "Thanks, I appreciate."

As he was to resume walking, Zell didn't notice the puddle of Caterchipillar goo and his feet went from under him. Stephen tried to hold his companion, but fell on top of the blond guy and apologized, "Sorry, I was trying to help." 

Zell didn't respond, he knew that he should either be amused or embarrassed by the situation, but he felt neither. He pushed a lock out his friend's striking emerald eyes, and was relieved when the other man didn't flinch at his touch. Somehow this didn't feel awkward, but in fact it felt… right. The martial artist, without even thinking, passed his hand through amazingly soft brown hair – he was glad that he hadn't put his combat gloves on for once.

Stephen had known and accepted who he was for a long time now, and sensed that his companion had to do the same. He just didn't want to go too far and scare the blond man, but he finally took a chance and lowered his face until their noses were nearly touching. When Zell didn't protest at the closeness, Stephen gently pressed his lips to his and felt the kiss being responded to.

Once they broke the embrace, the brown-haired man inquired softly, "Zell, you OK?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Replied the martial artist in a whisper, "I… well, I guess part of me always knew… but I…"

Stephen sat on the grass, and completed the thought, "But you were afraid of how others would respond."

Zell took a cross-legged position and said, "I don't know about your world, but here it's not totally accepted."

"It's the same from where I come from," replied the green-eyed guy, "Listen, you'll always meet ignorant and narrow-minded people, but that's their problem and not yours."

"I just don't know how my friends will take it when they find out."

"Don't worry," offered Stephen, putting a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder, "Real friends want you to be happy, regardless of your lifestyle. I've been through the same thing as you, and all my friends were really supportive."

Zell smiled gratefully at his companion, "Well, I think that Selphie strongly suspected anyway. You think that it's why she asked me to show you around?"

Stephen laughed, "That's what I would have done."

"We still have more than an hour to go before dinnertime," remarked Zell, "Hey, you want to stay here and check for shapes in the clouds?"

"Sure." Agreed the spirited youth gratefully.

"And Stephen?" continued Zell.

"Yes?"

"Thank you…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quisto Trepe entered his dorm and sat in his favorite chair. He had spent most of his time with scientists from the other Garden, trying to figure out a way back home. Their observations had been sent to Esthar earlier that day, and so there was nothing to do until they received the results.

"Huh, Quisto?" tentatively inquired a familiar voice.

He looked up and greeted his girlfriend, "Yes, Zelda?"

"I, hum, can I talk to you?"

Zelda was obviously fretful, and the blond instructor wondered what had gotten into her again. He gave her an encouraging smile and offered, "Sure, come in."

"Well, it's like, you see…" said the tattooed woman while wriggling her hands, "We… I haven't seen much of you since we got into this Universe…"

"I know," replied Quisto, "I have just been very busy. We are trying to find a way to get back home, and there's just too much data to process."

"So, you… hum… you are not avoiding me?"

The Instructor's eyes shone with amusement, "What in the name of Hyna gave you that idea?"

"I… well… are you mad at me because of those little, friendly challenges I had with Zell?"

As a matter of fact, he knew about the incidents. He had even convinced the commanders of both Gardens to go easy on the two martial artists. Not a year ago, he would have come down hard on Zelda and her counterpart, but since dating her he had acquired a more tolerant perspective.  She constantly reminded him that life was too precious, and too short to spend it worrying.

She was watching him expectantly, with an endearing pout on her lips – the one that melted his heart each and every time. Quisto wouldn't have fallen for such a display had it been someone else, for he was experienced when it came to people – especially students – trying to mollify him. But Zelda simply was an honest, demonstrative soul utterly incapable of any kind of deceptive behavior.

"Come here." He called to her gently. She gratefully sat on his lap and he embraced her tiny frame tightly, "Zelda, I am not mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know." She replied, kissing him tenderly.

"You're so cute," he said lovingly, tenderly caressing her pretty face, "Do you want to go to the beach, and have a picnic for dinner?"

"I'd love to!" she answered, her blue eyes sparkling with happiness, and then inquired, "Huh, can it be just you and me?"

"That was my intention."

Zelda kissed him again, and Quisto suddenly didn't care if they never went back to their own Universe or not. As long as he had her in his life, he knew that everything would be all right. Maybe when they would go to the beach, he would bring the little velvet box hidden in his drawer – maybe he would even gather the courage to give it to her…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sofie Almasy also had plans for that evening, as Fujin Kazeno had agreed to have dinner with her in Balamb. She had spent as much time as she could with the silver-haired woman, and it seemed to her that Fujin also enjoyed her company. Finally the time came to meet her 'date', and - with butterflies fluttering inside her stomach - she made her way to Garden's exit.

Fujin was waiting for her, dressed in jeans, sneakers and an ample white blouse. Sofie also remarked that the other woman was wearing a white bandana to hide her blind eye, instead of the eye patch.

'_Well, she made an effort. This is encouraging_' thought the blonde, smiling warmly. To Sofie's relief, Fujin responded with a tentative smile of her own.

They then took a car to their destination, and the trip proceeded in an uncomfortable silence. At the _Balamb Café_ they were given a table with a view of the ocean, and well away from the other patrons. Sofie was really happy at the intimate setting and she addressed her companion.

"Fuji," she started and, noticing that the fair woman didn't mind the usage of that nickname, she continued, "This is a such great table, how did you manage to reserve it?"

"SEED PERKS"

Sofie smiled warmly and said, "Say, Fujo speaks loudly because he stutters, and I was wondering…"

"I st-stutter t-too." Replied Fujin with a pained expression.

"It's all right," offered the blonde, "I understand."

"P-people m-make fun."

"It's the same for Fujo, but I'll never make fun of you."

"T-Thank you…" replied the fair woman with a grateful smile.

Their drinks arrived and sensing that the ice was well broken, which hadn't been the case in the past few days, Sofie decided to learn more about her companion. "Fuu, do you have a boyfriend?"

"NEGATIVE"

"Please, you can talk normally with me," gently stated the blonde.

"All right."

"Isn't there anyone you like?" asked Sofie, looking at her companion intently.

Fujin stared for a long moment into the depths of her drink before replying, "Seifer."

"Oh, I'm sorry he's taken."

"Just f-friend n-nothing… more."

Sofie understood something, but she needed to make sure, "But wouldn't you like to be more than friends with him?"

"Not my t-type…"

"And what kind of man is your type?"

"NO MAN…"

Fujin turned a bright crimson shade, which was quite striking for someone so pale. The albino just started at her glass, realizing that she had said too much and unable to meet the other woman's eyes. She started slightly as she felt Sofie's warm hand on her arm, and looked up at the words the blonde uttered.

"Men are not my type either."

"R-really?"

Sofie gently stroked Fujin's face, and asked, "I would like to get to know you better, because I really like you Fuji."

The fair woman smiled widely, and it was all the answer that Sofie Almasy needed. There were no certainties of course, but when fate gives you a wonderful gift of possibilities and hope, you better grab it for all it's worth.

"You have a beautiful smile." Said the tall woman to her –now officially- date.

Fujin Kazeno would smile a lot more from that moment on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reno Heartilly was assaulted the second he entered his dorm.

"Qualla," he managed to say between kisses, "Cut it out." – but in fact he really didn't want her to comply with his demand.

The Commander hugged her husband tightly, "Reno, lets stay here tonight."

"We promised Squall and Rinoa to meet them and their friends, remember?"

"Whatever." She replied before claiming his lips once more, and then looking hopefully into his chocolate eyes.

He entangled his hand in her long dark hair, and remembered that time on garden's balcony, when she had initiated their first kiss. So much had happened since then, but one thing had remained the same… he still turned to mush when she gazed at him like that, making him lose himself in those beautiful blue-gray eyes.

"We'll just have dinner, and then we'll leave early," he offered half-heartedly, "How about that?"

"Whatever." She answered with a grin, but didn't let go of him.

"Qualla, you're making this really hard, you know." He complained with a laugh.

"Whatever."

There was an assured knock, and Reno reluctantly untangled himself from his wife's arms. There was a messenger at the door, and after a short exchange he turned to Qualla with a huge grin.

"What's up?" she inquired.

"Squall, Rinoa and the others wanted to know if we could postpone dinner to tomorrow."

"What did you reply?"

"That it was fine, so I guess we can stay here after all," and then Reno added, "If you give me a good reason of course."

In place of an answer, Qualla embraced and kissed him languorously. They didn't know why the two other couples had canceled the dinner, but supposed that they also had excellent reasons.

They did.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Q: What do all bad ideas have in common?

A: They seemed like a good idea at the time.

It was that adage that Irvine was pondering at the moment, as he realized what an awful idea it had been to make out with Rica Barjan. The temptation had proven too strong though, as Raijin's counterpart was incredibly gorgeous. She was tall and long-legged, with an amazing figure, soft dark skin and the most sumptuous lips he had ever kissed in his entire life.

She was also a gentle and trusting person, and had been really upset when she found out that Irvine already had a girlfriend. The poor woman had left crying her heart out after Selphie had surprised them, but not before angrily slapping the cowboy across the face. That was why it had taken him 30 minutes to go find the diminutive brunette, as he had been quite stunned by that whack.

"Why do Aw always mess thangs up like that?" He asked out loud.

"Because, yer a selfish bastard,a _Me, Meself And Aw_ kinda guy."

Irvine sprang from his bed, on which he had been laying, and spotted Irma Kinneas in the entrance to his room. "Tha door was open, so Aw let meself in." She explained, "Hope, yah don't mind partner."

"Watcha want?" he asked rather bluntly.

"I have a question for yah," said Irma, tipped her cowgirl hat and continued, "Have ye ever asked yerself why ye can't stick with one gal?"

"Aw have…" answered the sharpshooter, sitting on the edge of his cot.

Irma closed the door, sat beside him and resumed, "Yah know, Aw think its because we haven't found tha perfect partner."

In fact, Irvine was pretty sure that he had found the perfect mate in Selphie. He berated himself once again for his lack of control, but he didn't suspect that destiny was about to give him one MAJOR lesson that he wouldn't soon forget.

"Say, Irvine," inquired the cowgirl, "Has anyone ever told yah to go f*ck yerself?"

"Yeah, more then once," replied our friend, "In fact, jest this mornin'…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, as Irma shoot him a predatory smile and announced, "Well, partner, this is yer chance to comply to that."

"Me, Meself And Yah?" Said Irvine.

"Yah, Yerself And Aw." Responded Irma.

"Yah know that this is wrang on so many levels…" Remarked the sharpshooter.

"Yeah," agreed the cowgirl, "This is really wrang!"

And then they grinned devilishly at each other…

~*~*~*~

Q: What do all bad ideas have in common?

A: They seemed like a good idea at the time.

As our good friend Irvine will eventually find out…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: I didn't forget about Selphie and Fujo. I am saving them for the last chapter, which will be coming soon to a fanfiction.net near you.


	4. Farewells

**~*~*~*~ IV – Farewells ~*~*~*~**

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Seven weeks after the arrival of the AU-Garden**

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Qualla, Squall, this was to be expected." Remarked Quisto, "People that paired up have already requested to either stay here or leave with us."

"We should have forbidden fraternization," said Qualla, "This is going to make things harder."

Rinoa offered, "What if we allowed an equal number of people to go and stay? That would balance things."

"Unfortunately," stated the blond instructor, "We don't know what the consequences will be. There have been reported cases of trans-universe traveling, but never on such an important scale as this."

Quistis had remained silent, but now spoke, "From what the scientist from Esthar can deduce, a few people shouldn't produce a misbalance."

"Shouldn't… that's speculation," intervened Squall, "What we need are certainties."

Reno added, "Rinoa and I haven't felt anything unusual, except about our Garden, but we think that since it's such as massive structure it's pull to get back to our Universe is stronger."

Turning to Quistis, Squall asked, "What have you found out about those portals?"

"Well, we have evidence that they're echoes of the ones Ultimecia and Ultros created to travel through time and space," lectured the blonde woman, "Our Universes are not exactly 'in tune', and that it's why they only appear as energy bursts."

"Correct," continued Quisto, "But when one of those bursts happens simultaneously in both our Universes, and in compatible locations, a portal opens."

"And you think that you can predict and open one of those passages." Inquired Qualla.

"Yes," replied Quistis, "If Rinoa and Reno channel their powers at the right time, it might distort reality enough to do so. And guys?

"What?" said both sorcerers at the same time.

"According to the calculations sent to us by Esthar, the optimum moment will be tomorrow at 08h16 AM."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Do you really have to go?" asked Selphie.

"AFFIRMATIVE"

"Then I'll go with you, Fujo."

The muscular albino gently held the tiny brunette, willing these few last moments together to last forever. They had been informed that morning that a way had been found to send them back home, but he wasn't so sure about where 'home' was anymore.

"Selphie… your life… your f-friends"

"He, don't forget those speech exercises, mister!" she said in what she wanted a cheerful tone, but missed the mark.

Fujo breathed deeply before stating, "It was made clear… we all have to go… back."

"Home is where your heart is," continued Selphie, "And I know we've just been really dating for a month or so, but I want to be with you…"

"Me too…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Stephen?"

"Yes, Zell…"

"I… huh, I heard that you guys are leaving tomorrow."

The young man lowered his emerald eyes, "We have been asked to be back at our Garden by curfew tonight. I just have a few hours left here."

"I wish I could go with you." Said Zell, gently touching his boyfriend's arm.

"Listen, Zell, I would love to stay, but I don't think it's an option. The important thing is for you never to forget who you are, and just live your life."

"You know, I met Zelda this morning," continued the blond guy, "I am going to miss her, she was like the sister I never had."

"I feel the same about Selphie."

"Say, you wanna go shoot the Frisbee around?" asked the martial artist, showing a disk in his hands. On it was written 'property of S.A. – don't touch!'

Stephen looked and laughed, "That's no Frisbee! That's Seifer Almasy's favorite CD!"

"Should fly pretty well." Replied a grinning Zell

"Yes it should…" agreed Stephen and they ran towards the field.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Fujin, try to understand." Pleaded Sofie.

"ALONE WILL BE" cried the smaller woman.

"I can't just disobey my Commander's orders, I have responsibilities."

"SEIFER WOULD"

"I… this sucks big time!"

"IT DOES"

The tall blonde had never felt so torn apart in her life. There was a time when she would have just followed her heart, and damn the consequences, but now there were too many things to consider. She told the fair woman so, "Fuu, there's just too many things hanging in the balance… I… I'm sorry."

"UNFAIR"

"Can't we just make the most of these last few hours?" asked Sofie in a soothing voice, "I'll never forget you, and maybe someday we'll meet again."

"OR NOT!" yelled Fujin, and then ran away with tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"Fuji!" called the blonde woman, but was unable to catch up with the heartbroken girl.

Fujin hid her weeping among some boulders, not far from Balamb Garden. She felt all the self-control - she had worked so hard at attaining - shattering in thousand of tiny pieces… just like her heart.

She then heard voices and remained as silent as she could; she really didn't want anyone to see her like this. Taking a peek, she spotted Selphie with Fujo walking hand in hand. The pair, unaware that they had an audience, stopped and kissed each other tenderly. It was then that, remembering Sofie's earlier words, a sudden idea blossomed in Fujin's mind.

'_Things hanging in the balance_.' She thought, '_Balance_…'

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Rinoa was on a boat that positioned itself about 500 meters from the expected energy burst. Reno was on the front balcony of his Garden, and as the great ship made it's way towards the sorceress, the signal was given to start. It was a sight to behold as they unleashed their powers at each other, and their wings unfurled in all their glory.

The beams of magic energy met, and at their point of contact a growing pool of shimmering forces appeared. Magnificent twirling colors expanded, suspended above the ocean as the majestic bulk of the AU-Garden floated towards it. Suddenly, the portal appeared and both sorceress and sorcerer called back their powers in perfect synchronicity.

Sofie Almasy looked back towards the beach, where a crowd of waving SeeDs had gathered. A tear ran down her face when she couldn't make the form of Fujin among them. And then swirling lights surrounded her, as they traveled between dimensions. It took but a few moments before they were back into their own world, and she noticed that it was early morning here. The sun was rising in the West, as it should be – she had never gotten used to that oddity in Fujin's Universe.

Two hours later, the tall blonde was performing a routine security check, when Qualla Leonhart called her to her office. And the Commander didn't sound happy, not one bit.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, Almasy?" demanded Qualla in an even voice (a sure sign of her anger), "How do you explain this?"

In the Commander's office were gathered eight other people, all from the Universe they had just left. Among them was Fujin Kazeno, and Sofie just stared wide-eyed at the assembly.

Quisto Trepe was also called to attend, and he coughed before speaking, "We are also missing a few people, as reported by their roommates or dorm-monitors. We don't know exactly how many yet."

"EIGHT" answered Fujin."

The blond instructor continued, "I suspected that much. Your little friend here seems to be the brain behind this."

"But how?" asked Sofie, "We had a head-count, and used retina-scans to identify… Oh crap!"

"Yes, that's one thing we never though would be identical," said Quisto, "I am also to blame for this, Qualla, as I assumed that retina-patterns were unique."

"Whatever." Replied the Commander, "What's done is done, but what now?"

"If I may Commander?" Intervened one of the clandestine passengers.

"Yes?"

"Well, we are all trained SeeDs and would certainly be of help here."

Qualla considered for a while, rubbing her temples. How she wished that Cydalia Kramer were there for she could use the older woman's wisdom in this situation. Finally, she decided, "All right, you will be given a chance to prove yourselves, but for the moment you'll be confined to Garden."

"Yes Sir! – er – Ma'am!" responded the eight SeeDs simultaneously.

As they were all filing out, Qualla addressed her Chief Of Security, "Sofie, you'll have custody of Fujo's counterpart, so show her around and find her a place to stay."

"Thank you, Commander." Said the blonde, and then left holding hands with a smiling Fujin.

"You did the right thing, Qualla," offered Quisto, "You know, I would have expected Stephen or Zelda to pull a stunt like that, but Fujo or his counterpart never. It's true that it's always those you suspect less."

"Whatever."

~*~*~*~*~*~

A similar scene was repeating itself at the other Garden, as Squall Leonhart was pacing his office, and trying to decide what to do with eight missing SeeDs and these new people.

"Huh, Commander?" asked Stephen Tilmitt cautiously.

"Yes, Mr.Tilmitt."

"Well, I know that sneaking aboard your Garden like this was wrong…"

"That's the understatement of the day." Said the broody guy evenly.

Stephen was rocking back and forth on his heels, and seemed to find the situation quite amusing. "Now, lets see the bright side of this situation."

"He's right, Squall," added Selphie, comfortably cradled in Fujo's powerful arms, "This is really funny when you think about it!" ~^_^~

Both spirited brunettes cowered under Squall's gaze, but Quistis intervened to dissipate the tension, "There's nothing we can do about it, and these people are trained SeeDs, so why not just enroll them?"

The Commander had always valued his former instructor's advice, and in fact Cid and himself had been seriously considering Quistis as successor to the present Head Instructor. He sat at his desk and announced, "Very well, but a disciplinary note will go into your permanent files, and you will all have to take both the written and field exams."

*coughBUMMERcough*

All present laughed, except the Commander, "What was that?"

Stephen Tilmitt looked way too innocent, but Squall didn't pursue the matter. He wouldn't admit it openly, but he was truly happy for Selphie, Zell and a few others who had established strong ties with these people from another reality. After dismissing the group, he hoped that things would finally get back to normality.

They didn't…

~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~ **_EPILOGUE_** ~*~

*URRRRRGHHH!*

"Crap, what's wrang with me?" complained Irvine before emptying his stomach again.

*URRRGAHHHHHHHH!*

Selphie and Stephen were passing by and entered the cowboy's room, "Irvine, you all right?" asked the perky woman.

The sharpshooter stepped out of his bathroom, "Aw don't know, Sephy, Aw been sick every mornin' fer the past week."

"Maybe it's that new batch of hot-dogs." Said Selphie.

"Yeah, meby." Agreed Irvine.

Stephen was hit by a thought, "Say, I heard that you and Irma were rather… close before she left."

"Yeah, what's it ta yah?"

"Hum," continued the spirited guy, "Did you guys use any… protection?"

"Aw don't know, sometimes yeah, others nope." replied Irvine, "Watcha asking?"

"Huh, man," asked Stephen, "Do you need to pee?"

About an hour later, the sharpshooter was pacing nervously back and forth in Selphie's dorm. Were also present Stephen, Zell, Fujo, Quistis, Seifer, Rinoa and Squall. The diminutive woman was intently staring at something on her dresser.

"So, Selphie, anything yet?" inquired Rinoa.

"It just needs a little longer according to the instructions on the box." Replied the brunette, "Oh! Here we go!"

Everything went still, as Selphie checked the stick from the pregnancy test against the image on the container. She finally announced, "Great news!"

"PHEW!" sighed Irvine in relief, and then asked, "Everythang's all rawght then?"

"Yes!" exclaimed the spirited girl bouncing excitedly, "I'm going to be an aunty!"

Irvine fainted.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~**THE END**~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And there you have it, another one of my displays of utter insanity. And that last scene, for those who recognized it, was inspired by _Red_ _Dwarf_ – one of, if not the, funniest show ever. And I really like Irvine, but he just seemed right for the role (and you still own me that $50 I lent you, Irv!).

Thank you to all those who took the time to review, and thus encouraged the participants. And just in case you have missed any of the entries, I made a list (if you are a contestant and your name is not on it, I apologize and please notify me in the reviews section, or send me an email, and I will correct the omission). So, by order of posting:

Sorceress Rinoa           Just Keep Dreaming                             [Guaranteed to surprise you]

Alonia Everclear           Dust of Lion, Heart of Diamonds           [_Refreshing_ approach to the theme of forbidden love]

Vick


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